the adventure has begun

So, I realize that this blog should’ve been started in September when I actually began teaching.However, I suppose “better late than never” is true, so here goes. :)

I’ll start at the beginning. From the time that I signed my teaching contract in July, I had this mixture of feelings regarding my upcoming job: excitement, anticipation, anxiety, and a whole lot of fear! I can’t describe to you the feeling of utter inadequacy that plagued me. I had thought of every reason that I wasn’t the right person for the job: I’m too young, I’m not qualified, I’m not a good leader, I’m not that outgoing, and so on. While I was home for the summer I did some research about teaching English and came to the conclusion that I had no idea where to begin. Coming out of a teacher education program where for years we learned about the American education system and its focus on accountability, I was floored when I got here and was given no direction whatsoever. No standards? No objectives? It’s all up to me?! My co-worker, also a first-time English teacher, asked the department if there was a text book we should use. Their response? They handed him a dry erase marker and said, “Here you go.” For an experienced teacher, I guess that kind of freedom is awesome. For a first-timer, its daunting. But thankfully, after arriving there were several other teachers (who have lots of experience) that gave me resources and tips. Lifesavers! I’m so thankful to have had their help. Pretty much all semester was trial and error for me. Try something new, see what works. Naturally, I had some big fails, but also some successes! It’s really amazing to see how much I’ve ended up enjoying teaching. Although I can’t say that I am necessarily passionate about teaching itself, I am definitely passionate about the relationship aspect of it. The opportunity it gives me to develop meaningful relationships with my students is by far my favorite part. It is so rewarding to have had the privilege of being a “safe place” for several of my students and friends to share things they haven’t felt they could share with anyone else. Who would’ve thought that 2 summers at a little girls’ camp in Mississippi, where we were encouraged to be a “safe place” for our campers, would be training ground for teaching college kids in China? I sure didn’t! Even though I have felt like a huge failure soo many times this past semester (in both teaching and relationships) it has been so wonderful to see the grace I’ve been given in spite of my mistakes.